('Inspired' by MadMen) Marketing 101 - or part of the proof as to why I never became a comedy writer

Below is a list (far from exhaustive, but - if read in one sitting - almost certainly exhausting) of the various different niche markets that those MadMen and Women in the advertising world aim at.

1. Advert. Printed, audio or visual device designed to encourage a person to purchase a good or service.

2. Badvert. As per #1 but executed very poorly.

3. Cadvert. As per #1 but aimed primarily at dishonourable chap from the 19th century.

4. Dadvert. Obvious, I'd hope.

5 .Fadvert. As per #1 but with a really limited shelf life.

6. Gadvert. As per #1 but designed to elicit attenuated surprise from a 18th century lady.

7. Hadvert. As per #1 but the person, once the purchase is complete, realises they already have said good or service.

8. Ladvert. As per #1 but aimed primarily at Oasis fans in 1995.

9. Madvert. As per #1 but deploying extremely weird artistic choices.

10. Nadvert. As per #1 but focusing on goods designed to enhance  gamete production.

11. Padvert. As per #1 but with a special emphasis on larger Apple products.

12. Radvert. As per #1 but designed by older advertisers who believe (erroneously) they are reaching the skater market.

13. Sadvert. As per #1 but seeking to elicit sympathy from the viewer. Typically used on charity advertising.

14. Tadvert. As per #1 but which offers oblique or attenuated information on the good or service being sold.

15. Vadvert. A very specific form of sadvert.

16. Wadvert. As per #1 but mostly selling cotton or other clumps of fabric.


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